Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Cracking Under the Pressure
Noise: Hitori No Yoru - Porno Graffiti

I am really, really cracking under all this pressure. It feels like there's this HUUUGGEEE arrow pushing me down, and I can't beat or avoid the arrow, when I escape from it, it finds me again and pushes me down again. And again. And the process repeats. And that is what sucks. And I don't feel good about it... and I still have friggin *bleep*!!! Gaaahhh! Why us my tummy so upset man?

I have loads and tonnes of homework and I can't do them, it's too hard... uhhhh... I tried the "I can do it" energy and still going on my mind but I won't do it. I don't think it's impossible, it's just that I don't know what and how to do them, and I want to finish them, but I just won't do them. Am I just lazy or am I stupid or something? Is something taking over my brain? A creature from Mars maybe? Or some parasites that I caught while reading smut on the Internet? Oh, I don't read smut on the Internet, forgot, hehe... Just felt like typing that.. huhuhu... *long sigh* And I'm tired and I haven't got enough sleep.

Oh god I just farted. Eww... it smells awful. Sorry for me being terribly disgusting today, I am human you know.

Oja gave me a box of Fullmetal Alchemist jigsaw puzzle yesterday, *prances like an idiot* Whee, I went on with my (suprisingly for a short time) merry self yesterday and started doing it. Oooohhh, *drools*. Oh, she bought it (for me, how sweet, as a late birthday present) at the book fair at PWTC. I WANTED TO GO TO THE DAMN BOOK FAIR! BUT NO NO NO, I HAD TO GO TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE, DAMMIT! At least I got to meet my aunt, I miss her loads, huuuuu..... I wish she was here, coz I'm terribly lonely now. I haven't got friends at home. Everyday, I come home to... my PC I guess.

I think now is the right time to officially declare that my cat is gone from my life. She went missing... right after I came back from Japan. The last time I held her was the night of my flight. Where are you Popoh? I miss you terribly. Come home!! And there's no use of putting posters, there are loads of cats that looks like mine, coz my cat is a street cat, but she was beautiful then the others.

Change of topic again (I just love randomness), things are looking up for my dad's company, or at least I think it is. I'm happy, for him and for me, coz I won't be starving anymore! Whee~~~

I will be busy next week, coz I have mid-year exams and I need to study coz I don't want to fail subjects again. There you go. I won't be the girl who was 5th in ranking in her class last year who became the girl with the lowest marks. I just won't, and I want to study harder, coz I don't want to study in Malaysia, I want a scholarship to go to another country (and NOT Indonesia/any other country that I won't like), and I wanna live like a millionaire! Gahahahahahahahahaaa! And have a home in Tokyo! Wahahahahaha.... Just as a fact, I used to dream of going to St. Andrews University (the one Prince William goes to) and I was sooo interested... I don't think I still want to, coz I won't be taking medical..... or perhaps I should consider the Art History course... hmmm.... Tell me what you think.

My exam will be in the span of 12 days.... expect long absence.

I'mm off to find Physic notes that I can use... And Chemistry ones too.
Clone [*] 3:38 PM